Being Four

Being four means learning boundaries. It means talking back to mom and dad. It means thinking you know everything. It means learning confidence, even if it gets you in trouble most of the time.

I sometimes tease my husband that B is filled with all of our worst qualities:

• Stubborn as a mule (his side)
• Impatient and short-tempered (me)
• Doesn't listen well (him)
• Night owl and grumpy in the morning (me)
• Hates school (me again)

Be he's also:

• Empathetic and kind (dad)
• Loves to cuddle (dad)
• Creative (mom and dad)
• Loves music (mom and dad)
• laughs and enjoys life
• shops well
• travels wonderfully

I believe a lot of his attributes towards the end can be credited towards me and K having a more relaxed parenting style since he was an infant. We try really hard to let him experience life and learn and grow as he does without being too overbearing. 

I'm blessed to have this little boy. As much as he wears me out and has endless energy, he really is such a good boy. As he now embarks on the new adventures of school, I can't help wondering what the future holds for us. I'm not sure what road I take from here. For four years he's been my buddy, my sidekick. I'm kind of afraid to be on my own again. I know that, no matter what, God will help reveal that path. As He as lead me every step of the way thus far. 

Patience is a virtue, but it's hard to remember this sometimes. I'm going to be sad as nugget begins full-time school. It's hard to watch them grow up and away from you, but it's also one of the most rewarding experiences I've ever known.

Are you sure you want to ejaculate?

Don't let the title scare you, this is just another fun blog about being a foreigner living in a country that doesn't speak your language.

This month I am taking two college classes versus my normal one. K has taken this like a champ and the past two Sundays has taken B out to run some errands so I could get a big portion of my homework done with no distractions. This last Sunday he took him to drop of some donations to the second hand store.

The problem with your first overseas move is the amount of unnecessary items you will bring with you, and the amount of necessary items you'll leave at home. I have donated so much stuff because I simply don't need it here and do not have the storage for it. I also keep remembering things I put in storage in the states that I could have brought with me. You live and you learn.

Most of the younger generations in Japan know English. They are taught it 1-12 grade in almost every school. However, they don't speak it well. They learn to read and write in the language, but they do not know how to converse. Therefore, when faced with a foreigner most of them panic. Americans are classified talkers in this country. We are loud and unnecessarily conversational and that is now how they operate here. If they can avoid speaking to you in English they will.

Most of the time this isn't a problem. K knows enough Japanese that the locals assume he's fluent and immediately speak normally to him, therefore leaving us staring at them blankly. Google Translate's app has this amazing function where you can have someone speak to the phone and the phone will try to translate it.

However, in a crowded mall where there is a lot of background noise and busy people, it may not work. So when the donation woman is trying to ask you if you are sure you want to donate the enormous box of crap you just bought her, it may try to assume she's asking you, "are you sure you want to ejaculate?"

If you know how conservative this country is you can imagine the horror this woman experienced when the phone wrote that question in both English and Japanese. Luckily for her, K is a very jolly person and laughed it off. He attempted to make her feel at ease by telling her it was okay and he got most of what she was trying to say. However, she was thoroughly embarrassed and who could blame her?

I feel really bad having to ask people to translate things for me. A lot of the time you see it on their face when you walk in a restaurant or store. "Oh no. Another foreigner, please don't ask me to speak English." And when you do ask them if they speak English they sometimes have that look of "crap". I don't blame them, because we feel that same embarrassment speaking Japanese. Well, I do. K is a natural and his upbringing early in life in Japan is to thank for that. He has a perfect accent and can pronounce everything enough that, as I said earlier, they assume he's fluent. I, on the other hand, sound like a white person trying to speak Japanese.

We make it a point, when asking Japanese people to speak in English, to tell them their English pronunciation is very good. And we thank them profusely of course. Most of the time, their English really is good, and they have nothing to worry about.

This same weekend we went to a restaurant where you sign in instead of having a hostess take your name. They ask you if you want smoking or non-smoking in Kanji on this sheet and K and I had no idea what it meant. We eventually gave up when Google translate failed us for the second time that day. A girl who had been seated before us walked up to me and said she noticed we were trying to take pictures of it. I asked her if she could tell us what it meant and she did.

Despite them being uncomfortable speaking English, everyone here is very nice. If you meet a rude person in Japan, I'd bet money they weren't Japanese. Or they weren't brought up in Japan. They may look at us funny sometimes, especially the kids when we are further away from the base. But 99% of the time, everyone is kind, polite, and could care less that we're foreign in their country. At least, they don't express in a way I could tell. They may think it, but it doesn't show at all.

We took B to a park outside of the Starbucks we enjoy and a group of kids we assume came from the same neighborhood were out playing. One took an immediate liking to B and played with him specifically, trying to show him the way they were playing (tag, I assume) and helping him down the slide and such. B ran over to us and was so excited about this new friend. He loves older boys and thinks he's really cool when he gets to play with them. This boy was obviously an older sibling, he was natural with the way he treated B. K told B how to say hello to the boy in Japanese and we watched him run over and say it rushed and it didn't sound quite right. But the boy smiled and said it back to B and they ran off together. Later B was showing off and lifted his shirt to be silly, the boy laughed, but then stood up and immediately pulled B's shirt down and kind of ruffled his hair. K and I had to laugh, we had opened our mouths to tell B to put the shirt down right as the little boy put it down for him.

It was an amazing moment to watch. Our son communicated to this other kid, and they had such a good time playing. As the sun went down, the kids had to run off on their bikes and the boy made sure B saw him wave goodbye before riding off. It was a sweet moment, my heart was full. This little boy gave my son such a lovely evening and they didn't even speak the same language.

Again I am floored by the purity of children. Especially as the U.S. sees this horrific tragedy in Florida. The media tries to twist it for their own good, but here's the simple facts. 50+ people were slaughtered in an act of hate. It's that simple.

When two kids who don't even speak the same language can communicate and have fun together, why can't adults live in a society together without being so negative and hurtful to one another?

K and I have learned a lot about ourselves in the short time we've been in Japan. We don't know anyone, we don't speak their language at all, and for a while getting around was difficult. Not once have I felt a negative air in this country. Even when we ask them to speak English. They are so kind to us, a couple who has come into their land to live.

Japan isn't a perfect country by any means. Everyone has their flaws, every land, every government, every person. But the fact of the matter is that it is entirely possible to live in a positive way. And it's not something that you have to point the finger to do. It starts with you. Looking in the mirror, and decide to be loving, deciding to be kind, and decide to spread a positive image of yourself and who you are. People are going to be ignorant and annoying, but do you have to respond to them in the same way? No.

"Right now three things remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13 

Let All That You Do Be Done In Love

Today our agent was kind enough to take us to meet our neighbors. She translated for us an introduction to who we were and where we were living. While getting ready I put on a long sleeved shirt and a band aid over my tattoo on my wrist. Japan is a country that has a stigma against tattoos, and while it's not uncommon to see a foreigner with one, I wanted to respect their tradition and culture. I'm not ashamed of my tattoo, but I am respectful and try to be as mannerly as possible. Americans are not always welcomed here, and not everyone agrees the U.S. should be on their soil. After I arrived here a Marine was convicted for the rape and murder of a 20 year old woman in Okinawa. My husband and I discussed this at length, I said to him "isn't it a shame that the majority have to suffer because of the minority?" Obviously most Americans and soldiers do not act disrespectfully. But who will you notice on the streets? The quiet people who did as they should, or the loud obnoxious drunk ones?

My husband's response was perfect, "We just have to show them that we're not all like that." And thus, we try extra hard to insert friendliness and respect wherever we go in the country. We are ambassadors here and we choose to represent that part of our country that is often muted. The ones who aren't full of themselves, loud about their opinions, and often times very very wrong about their entire way of life.

I could go on for days about my dislike for the ignorant country the United States has become, but that's neither here nor there. Back to my tattoo...

My 4-year old could not understand why I was covering it. Why would someone be judgmental of this simple thing on my wrist? He said to me, "but mommy I don't want anyone to be mad at you because of your tattoo." I never said the people would be mad, but that's what he took away from my explanation of them not liking tattoos very much.

I found myself struck with that moment of, "if only people could look at the world the way a child does". Children are raised from the beginning to be loving, kind, sharing, accepting, etc. Where do we go wrong? Where do we suddenly decide we are better than someone else? When do we stop the love?

I often joke that I am the hippie of my family and everyone hates when I go on my rants, but it led me to a discussion about church, the Lord, and raising our son with my husband. I feel as though I was put on this Earth, not to judge, but to be a representation of Christ's love in my life. I have felt led to the places I am in now. I know He has loved and blessed me repeatedly. I hope to be an example of Him. I want people to know me and think "she was so kind" and if the fact that I was Christian comes in to play, I'm glad. I don't hide it, because the Lord is the reason I am here today. Not only because of the breath I have been given, but because of the low points I have reached and how He has called me out of the darkness so many times over.

I am not perfect. I do not always have a kind tongue or warm heart. Especially around those I am comfortable with, who know I can be stubborn and down right mean. Those are not characteristics I enjoy about myself. I constantly aim to change my behavior. I want to encourage others, not show them my nasty side.

My neighbors are lovely, and because of the neighborhood I am in, there are multiple family members in each home. I was greeted by the grandparents of both houses today and they were both the kindest, sweetest people. Knowing next to know English, I have little doubt they wouldn't help me if I needed it somehow.

If everyone acted like this, showed the love and stopped passing so much harsh judgement on each other, what would the world be like?

It takes no effort at all to be nasty, so why does it take effort to be nice?

I'm not stressed, just taking my overwhelmed-ness with style...

This month I had two classes instead of my normal 1. Which means the 20-30 hours of work I get in a class is now 40-60 hours. On top of working 40 hours a week, and oh yeah, I'm a mom.

Luckily a blizzard came through and I was able to kill 90% of my homework during that time. However, my house is still a mess (and now salt is tracked through it despite my best efforts), my homework still isn't finished, laundry isn't done, and I'm moving out of the country in a couple of months.

I would just like to make a shout out to the United States Postal Service for being, by far, the most unhelpful waste of my time I have ever had to deal with. I should have to A.) Pay over $100 for a passport and B.) Have to physically make an appointment at the post office and then proceed to come back to get the service taken care of. It's 2016, the internet exists for a reason. At least let me set my appointment up online!

On top of already losing my birth certificate and marriage license this year, the USPS now has the new copies for "X" amount of months and I still have to take those original copies to someone in the government for a different type of passport. And to clarify, I am the one that lost the certificates, not the USPS.

So long story short, getting paperwork done is stressful enough without having my own stupidness making it worse.

And as much time as I have spent on moving stuff around my house from one room to another, I feel beyond overwhelmed. I know I am making life easier for myself by organizing things. I know I am actually taking big chunks out of the moving process. But now there's piles of stuff in every room in my house and my OCD is not feeling it.

I will be happy the day the movers show up and clear out my house. Because despite the fact that I am trusting other people to touch my stuff (Lord be with me and my anxiety), I will at least have until May to not have to worry about that.

If this jumbled mess of thoughts doesn't say it enough. I'm kind of overwhelmed with life. I am just trying really hard to pretend that I'm not.

The Big Move

Friday morning K got an e-mail telling him he was selected for the job in Japan that he had interviewed for a month prior.

There are so many mixed emotions with this news. The first is initially excitement. We've wanted this for so so long. We've been praying for God's hand in K's career choices. We had begun to give up, talking about what our next steps were in life since he wasn't getting any leads in the job market. And then he got an interview.

We'll be gone for 5 years and while that seems like a long time, it also seems like a short time as well. I know how big of an adjustment this is going to be for me, I am aware of the cultural changes that I will be facing. This isn't a decision K and I made lightly before he began applying to jobs. We sat down and had many discussions and prayed together immensely about it all.

This is something we want to do, we're ready to do, and we are excited to do.

Of course, with all of this excitement comes the realities of what I'm leaving behind. We are so close to our families and friends and the thought of not getting to see them so easily hurts. Of course I am sad to leave them.

I have anxiety disorder and I'm moving to another country, my body is on a weird overdrive right now. There is so much happening in my brain and I have had a couple of panic attacks. It's not all bad anxieties, just anxiety period.

It's a weird feeling, being so excited for something, but also weary of the huge amount of changes we are going to be facing.

I still can't really believe it's happening, we are finally getting this opportunity to move to a new country.

Musical B

My little B is such a talented kid musically. He may not be talking, but he's singing! Today we were running errands and Katy Perry's "Roar" came on the radio; and the part where she's singing "roar" over and over and building B sang with her. At the climax of the song he made a real big face and sang it real loud. It was literally perfect and precious. I think I will miss these moments the most as he is in between talking and using his own chatter. We finished our errands around nap time and B started to drift off in the car and I turned on our favorite song. I used to sing it to him when he was a baby and he would always fall asleep. The song is "Fix You" by Cold Play, but my favorite version is sung by Tyler Ward and Boyce Avenue. I have that version on my ipod and when B is falling asleep in the car I will turn it on and he falls asleep without fail. I love to sing it to him and I love the words behind the song. I feel like it delivers a message of love and support and that's what I want B to know while growing up. That his mom and dad always love and support him. Here are the lyrics of the song and the video of the version I like the best. I hope it makes your day better.
Here is the video

When you try your best, but you don't succeed When you get what you want, but not what you need When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep Stuck in reverse And the tears come streaming down your face When you lose something you can't replace When you love someone, but it goes to waste Could it be worse? Lights will guide you home And ignite your bones And I will try to fix you And high up above or down below When you're too in love to let it go But if you never try you'll never know Just what you're worth Lights will guide you home And ignite your bones And I will try to fix you Tears stream down your face When you lose something you cannot replace Tears stream down your face And I... Tears stream down your face I promise you I will learn from my mistakes Tears stream down your face And I... Lights will guide you home And ignite your bones And I will try to fix you

The sun's awake! So I'm awake!

Sunny week for the rest of the week! I am so happy with this news! Today we spent the greater part of the morning outside playing with friends and I hope to get my butt in gear and get outside for the rest of the week at some time. It also means more dog park time for B and Allie! Have I talked about how much B likes the dog park? Seriously. Almost more than the dogs! He loves running around the big open field and throwing the balls around for the pups. Sometimes he gets knocked over, but for the most part I make sure we are around friendly pups and the owners don't care. Anyway, the kids love running around so much at that park and there is a nice path to run around. Yay spring is here!

Mom Life

I am so blessed to be a stay at home mother in this economy. It is a blessing I try very hard not to take for granted. Especially on days like yesterday when no matter what I did B reacted negatively. He was fussy, whiny, and cried over everything! I have been struggling with the latest change in doses of my medicine and my patience just ended. I ended up snapping at B and yelling at him. This made me feel guilty, thus resulting in me crying. This cause B to cry and be concerned about me. Yesterday was not a good day. Days like that are hard to find the positive outlook on life. Especially when you already feel anxious and depressed. Being a mom is even harder. I run my household, plan meals, clean, and raise a beautiful little boy. And even with dream jobs you can have a bad day. I just hate having those bad days because I feel inadequate as a mother. Why can't I handle this? Why do I have to feel so depressed about silly things? Luckily I have a great support group. My hubby came home from lunch, my mom called me on her break, and I have a wonderful group of moms that I can talk to and vent to. I am so blessed and grateful to God for the blessings in my life. Even in my bad days I can take a time out and count my blessings. This is the start to turning a negative day positive. It's never easy and no one is perfect, but it's still worth trying.

Book Worm

My little man is quite the avid reader. He will pull book after book off of the book case if you keep offering to read them to him. He has always been this way, since he could touch a book. He is the same with movies. If he is upset or bored, I will turn on a movie and BOOM instant gratification from him. He loves Disney and almost any Disney movie will please him. He absolutely loves Brave and Hercules. A recent favorite has become Robin Hood; which was my favorite growing up so that makes me happy. His current favorite books are "Animal Strike at the Zoo" and "Star Wars 123" which speaks highly of his interests right now. I decided recently on a Zoo theme for his birthday party this year because he absolutely loves animals. He has many animal books that he will go to over and over and he is particularly fond of giraffes and elephants. I'm really excited because he also LOVES to play with balls and I found Zoo themed beach balls! Anyway, these are his two favorite books...

Another thing B is huge on is music. This kid tries to play "drums" and taps his hands on things, claps to the beat of the music, and dances. He dances and sings along to everything. He would match our pitch almost perfectly at 18 months and he now will finish singing some of his favorite songs if we sing the beginning lines. It astounds just how musically talented he is already at such a young age. I often see him growing up to be the next teen pop star. I don't know if that's something I'd want for him, but if he's that talented then why not? I definitely want to keep encouraging him with his love for music to see where it takes him. He literally has his own playlist on my youtube of his favorite songs and videos and will watch them all on repeat. One of his favorite songs is Ollie Murrs "Heart Skips a Beat". If you have never heard it before I highly recommend you go look it up. Tell me it's not worth it? It will be interesting to see where these random interests and talents take my kid. I can't wait to look back on this post a few years from now and compare where he is.

Mother Son Date Night

What a day. B woke up this morning, happy and chatty as can be! However, when I walked into his room I saw that he and his bedding were covered in poop. Unfortunately through the night B fills his diaper with pee. Pee+A LOT of poop= enormous mess. It was the kind of mess that ended up with PJ's in the trash and B straight into the shower. These are definitely the less fun moments of motherhood that you just have to laugh at. What a way to start my week, full of more poop! B and I had plans to go to our local Chic Fil A for a mother/son date night that they were hosting. I had made reservations a couple of weeks ago and was looking forward the evening with him. He loves Chic Fil A so I was excited that it was a place he actually liked. He decided to not nap today, so I am pleasantly happy to say that dinner went well. It was a cute little set up they had of a 50's diner. We got ice cream afterward and headed home. At home we got into PJ's and B got a second wind. He has been running around the house screaming and playing as if I fed him sugar straight from the packet. Luckily, K is being amazing and took him downstairs to hang out for the last hour of the evening before bed time. Hopefully no nap B will be nice and tired in about 40 minutes! Recently found out that Disney on Ice is in DC right now! I was unaware that it was coming near us! Me and Tina are looking into tickets to take B with us. He still gets in for free and I think he would truly enjoy it. We found front row tickets for only $100 and we have been debating whether or not to get those and have a real treat this weekend. We will see what happens!