You can't be tall *and* fat. Just one or the other.

My husband recently took a trip to the states and while there I sent him to my beloved and highly missed Target. I sent him there with a list, including pictures and brands of what I wanted him to get for myself and our son to replace some clothes in the house.

Not to my surprise he didn't come back with what I asked for, but really, it's not his fault.

I asked for yoga pants because Target sells them in longs. I prefer yoga pants for a variety of reasons and like most women the number one reason being that they're comfortable. As I just finished explaining to my husband, yoga pants form to my body. I am shapely, but I am tall. I fit right between the Plus Size and Regular categories of clothes. Most plus sized clothes are too short on me because they're made to be wider, not longer. Most regular clothes are too tight.

Therefore, buying clothes sucks. In retrospect, this works to my advantage because I really like clothes and shoes. I have big feet and a curvy body and therefore nothing comes easily in those things. Basically, if I was skinny I'd be broke.

So my husband, noticing that I am not wearing the pants he bought me tries to understand this explanation. Finally, I put the sweat pants on. They should be the right size, but they're not longs and they're not stretchy like yoga pants. When I put them on he got really quiet with that typical husband face of "suddenly everything she was just saying makes perfect sense."

It's just unfortunate that the fashion industry, while seemingly "trying" to adapt to the culture that every body is beautiful, still doesn't make clothes for everyone. I've even seen articles talking about how most clothes are even made to look good on the hanger, not on your body.

The problem for me is that I am tall, and I'm "fat". No, I don't have a poor outlook on my body, I'm just overweight. I can admit it and live with that. I just want a pair of jeans that I don't scream and rip off the second I walk through the door of my house in exchange for house pants. Am I really asking so much?

Apparently.

Sleep-1 B-0

My B had been a sleeping nightmare since this past weekend! Saturday night he woke up at 3 am and stayed crying for a solid 30 minutes before going back to sleep.

The night before last he refused to fall asleep unless he was in bed with us. I finally left him in his room at 2 and he cried until he fell asleep 25 minutes later.

Last night I was more careful to monitor nap time and keep the bed time routine in check and he went to bed willingly for me at 9:45 pm. However, 5 am like clockwork he's up crying. I went into his room and consoled him. I told him if he laid down I would stay in there with him, but he refused. So I said okay and that I loved him and good night. I went into my room, turned on the bathroom fan to drown him out a little so K could sleep, and it only took him 10 minutes to fall asleep. I don't know if it was the fan noise getting into his room or if it was because he was more hysterical than normal.

I've tried it all. I can't sit in his room because it makes it worse. He wants to be in my arms and in my bed. I never let him sleep in my bed so I'm not entirely sure why he's decided he needs to be in bed with us. He's been doing this for months now off and on. Last time around I started giving him allergy medicine every day and he slept thorough the night fine. So I do wonder if he's having some reaction to the enormous amount of pollen in the air and it's just not something I can physically see.

Either way, I've also made sure naps are no more than 2 hours and our routine at night is always the same. He is a night owl like his momma and that's a problem! 

The hardest part about it is staying strong while he's screaming "mommy! Mommy!" In his room. At 3 am you are so tired and it hits you right in your heart! Regardless, I think the solution for B is being told he's loved and leaving him to go back to sleep on his own. He has a music box from his late grandmother, but I don't think it's working anymore. He's just plain stubborn and two. A hard combination.

Luckily I have had a lot of great support from other moms of two year olds and older. They've given me some great feedback or just a plain "stay strong!" And that helps a lot. Sometimes you feel like you're alone in this terrible toddler life, but it's never true. 

So, let's hope 10 minutes turns to 5 tonight! 

Mom Life

I am so blessed to be a stay at home mother in this economy. It is a blessing I try very hard not to take for granted. Especially on days like yesterday when no matter what I did B reacted negatively. He was fussy, whiny, and cried over everything! I have been struggling with the latest change in doses of my medicine and my patience just ended. I ended up snapping at B and yelling at him. This made me feel guilty, thus resulting in me crying. This cause B to cry and be concerned about me. Yesterday was not a good day. Days like that are hard to find the positive outlook on life. Especially when you already feel anxious and depressed. Being a mom is even harder. I run my household, plan meals, clean, and raise a beautiful little boy. And even with dream jobs you can have a bad day. I just hate having those bad days because I feel inadequate as a mother. Why can't I handle this? Why do I have to feel so depressed about silly things? Luckily I have a great support group. My hubby came home from lunch, my mom called me on her break, and I have a wonderful group of moms that I can talk to and vent to. I am so blessed and grateful to God for the blessings in my life. Even in my bad days I can take a time out and count my blessings. This is the start to turning a negative day positive. It's never easy and no one is perfect, but it's still worth trying.

Mom Life

I think I could literally post every day about how much I love to be a mom. Even on my worst days, when B looks at me and smiles or picks his nose; I am filled with so much love for him. K and I have been discussing when we would like to have another baby. Obviously, both of us want one right now, but we are trying to be smart financially in order to give our kids a more secure home. I wont say when we have decided to start trying, but I do look forward to our future. I hope that God's plans work with ours. I am very ready to move on into the next chapter of our lives. I call it my "big girl" life. I want my "big girl" house with my two babies (maybe 3 if I can convince K!). I want to have parties in my back yard because it's big enough to do that. A driveway and front yard that my kids can actually play in. Unfortunately, we have some more time to wait for that. Until then, I am determined to remain humble. I have a blessed life with a wonderful little boy who I am enjoying very much! He learns and grows so much on a daily basis and it is so amazing to watch. I am also blessed to have met some amazing moms in my path. I will soon be reading a book and starting a discussion with some of them to help and encourage each other as we enter some of our more challenging motherhood years. "Terrible Toddler" time I like to call it. There isn't really a certain age where it hits, I think it's a whole period of time we have to work through and it's nice to have some other moms to back me up. Mom's need to be more encouraging to each other. It amazes me that mom's judge other mom's so harshly. Not everyone can breast feed, make their own food, cloth diaper, etc. There's a million ways to mother, and I am not sure there is one "right" way. We all have one goal in mind; to raise our kids to the best of our ability. So why put down someone who already works hard enough? About a month ago B threw up in the middle of Olive Garden. Literally as I picked him up to rush him to the bathroom, he puked everywhere. I rushed him to the bathroom where he threw up ALL OVER the bathroom door. When we finally reached a toilet, he was finished. I cleaned him up, took off his shirt and my jacket and took him back to the table. I quickly gathered our things, put his own *clean* jacket on him and rushed out of the restaurant to get my poor baby home. As I was leaving I noticed a mom in the booth across from my table. She gave me that apologetic smile that said "this has happened to me, I support you". I needed that smile. I needed to know someone had been there and made it out alive. Even though I knew there was nothing wrong with the situation, I was still a bit embarrassed to have to tell the manager my son's puke was all over her bathroom door. Having that mom give me an encouraging smile really helped me feel a little better. I want to be that mom. I am not saying I am perfect, I have made comments and passed judgement that I wish I hadn't. I am new at this and I am learning. I am trying to make a point to learn from other mom's not act like I am the best one out there. We aren't always going to agree with how someone is raising their kid, it's human nature I think. That doesn't mean anyone is wrong and anyone is right. It means they are just a little different. Anyway, as I love my baby boy and stay home with him to raise him to the best of my ability, I am going to try very hard to be a more positive mother. Positive towards other moms I see and positive towards B. I want me encouraging smile to make another mom feel better. I never want to be the nasty look that makes her feel worse. Disclaimer; obviously there are unfortunate cases of people who do not belong to the "mom" club. There are sadly abusers out there in many different definitions of the word, who have children and raise them in a poor environment. And sadly they probably don't feel that love for their babies like some other mom's do. If you see a child that you think is being abused. Really abused, not just a spanking for being bad or a talking to after a long day. You need to report this person. Child abuse is a serious crime and still a problem in today's society.

Countdown to 2

My almost 2 year old is already giving me samples of "terrible two" syndrome. This week: the battle of B versus the word "no". Disclaimer: I love my son. Read any of my posts and you will know that I love my son more than life itself. He is the greatest blessing I have ever known. That being said, he is also human. Most moms say that terrible twos is a real thing, some say it's threes; and unfortunate few are wondering when the "terrible" actually stops. I've always regarded moms with respect because I could see from day 1 how stubborn my little boy was. I soon learned that not only was he stubborn (just like his father), but he was incredibly short tempered (I will take blame for this trait). Now that we are only a few short months from reaching 2, his fun little quirks have now enhanced to all out battles. As I stated above, this week it is B versus the word "no". Actually it's B versus any word that comes out of mom's mouth because he truly does not listen to a thing I say. He climbs, he throws, he hits, he pulls; he is 100% boy. Of course this means he doesn't listen to save his life. I take dangerous things from him (like electronics or knives--you know death causing items) and I try to calmly explain that it can hurt him. Unfortunately my words fall on deaf ears because he's laying on the floor screaming bloody murder. I've read parenting articles on this fun toddler stage of life, and I am currently reading a book about raising boys and how scientists believe boys think versus girls. So I try to remember what I've read as I try to approach things in a different light. AKA not just yelling at him and constantly putting him in time out. Again, he could care less. He is beginning to learn, as I have told him since the day he was born, that I can out-stubborn any Dronenburg. This is an unfortunate thing for him as today he tried to climb on the couch to jump on it for probably a good 5 minutes, while I pulled him off and repeated "no" over and over again. Eventually he gave up and is currently on a tent that he knocked on it's side and is jumping on it. As every mom before me, I am left exhausted and ready to throw in the towel. And we are not even 2 yet. I am glad for the family roots in me that have left me unwilling to admit defeat. I refuse to lose to a young child and this fuels me to stay patient and loving. Plus, my kid is cute. And that helps. Needless to say, I know my experienced mothers out there can read this and laugh at my naive and inexperienced nature, and reflect on the times when their own son (or daughter) did the same to them. I know one day I will look back on this post and laugh myself, as B calls me to complain about his own son. Because Karma is real people.

Day 4: Disney World Adventures

Today we hit Animal Kingdom followed by a delicious dinner in Epcot! In Animal Kingdom we road the Safari and saw a lot of great animals, including B's favorite; a giraffe! They walked right past us! It was so neat to see and to watch his reaction to everything. 

We also so the Lion King show and that was terrific! Truly a great show for the family to see! B met a few more characters today including Pooh Bear and Tigger. He was enthralled to meet them and it is the most heart warming experience a parent can have.

We went to Epcot for a fancy steak dinner that my aunt and uncle had snagged reservations for. There we got B chocolate "moose" and it was delicious! 

All in all today was a busy, but more relaxed day in the parks. Tomorrow we are doing some shopping and lighter activities. And Thursday is MY BIRTHDAY! Hitting the big 2-5 this year! Yikes! Thursday is Magic Kingdom day and will probably be the most action packed day we have. Literally the best park, we have a lot of rides that B can go on (including Pirates of the Carribean and Haunted Mansion--yes!!) and we have a special Christmas celebration for park after hours.

Friday is Hollywood Studios day and our last day--so sad! 

K is doing better, but still sore after the days are done. We decided it would be best if he stayed in the bungalow tomorrow and rested for the day. Especially since we will not be visiting a park tomorrow and Thursday will be a long day!

Again, I can't help but humble myself and take these blessings in! It has been an amazing trip so far--I am a lucky woman this week.

Road Tripping!

Today we embarked on our journey to Walt Disney World Resort in Orlando, FL! I have been BEYOND excited for this trip. There is a 6 year old girl inside of me ready to scream and pee herself when we see those giant Mickey ears. 

We are so blessed to have my Aunt and Uncle help us with this trip. More than we deserve! They travel down every year and so, as veterans, they are hooking us up with a lot of great stops and reservations. They also got us upgraded to tree house bungalows outside of Animal Kingdom--we are staying fabulous on this trip! 

So yes, we took the brave (and cheapest) route down; driving. From our home to Orlando averages 12-14 hours driving time, and we have B with us! 

As day 1 is coming to a close I feel so proud of my little 18 month old. Stuck in his yucky car seat for almost 10 hours today he only cried about 30 minutes. No break downs, as long as the iPad was playing a movie we seemed to be under control. I packed a zipper tote full of toys new and old and I didn't have to pull out any "big guns" so far! This will be the hardest trip of the entire journey. On the way home we are more evenly split and we have more time to stop and stretch. I chose to leave around nap time today and B chose this day not to nap. I can't lie, I was concerned, but man was he a trooper! And as a result he passed out around 8:30 and has been snoozing soundly ever since. Hopefully when we get to the hotel he will transfer smoothly.

We are stopping in Savannah, GA. I have been once before, but as K and I were chatting I thought to myself, "why not stop and see some sights?" We wanted to take our time getting back on the road tomorrow so that we were not throwing B directly back into the car seat. I don't want to over use his patience with us, even if it is just 4 hours. So we were tossing ideas out about what we could do and I remember my family and I ate at Paula Deen's Lady and Sons restaurant on our previous visit. So I googled it and sure enough they just changed it so that you can make reservations for small parties online and they had times available! So we are going to spend the morning in downtown Savannah, maybe walk the river walk, and just enjoy a new family spot to mark on our maps! 

This week is going to be one to remember and I'm going to try very hard to document as much as I can, so that I can look back on this and relish in the memories!