I'm not stressed, just taking my overwhelmed-ness with style...

This month I had two classes instead of my normal 1. Which means the 20-30 hours of work I get in a class is now 40-60 hours. On top of working 40 hours a week, and oh yeah, I'm a mom.

Luckily a blizzard came through and I was able to kill 90% of my homework during that time. However, my house is still a mess (and now salt is tracked through it despite my best efforts), my homework still isn't finished, laundry isn't done, and I'm moving out of the country in a couple of months.

I would just like to make a shout out to the United States Postal Service for being, by far, the most unhelpful waste of my time I have ever had to deal with. I should have to A.) Pay over $100 for a passport and B.) Have to physically make an appointment at the post office and then proceed to come back to get the service taken care of. It's 2016, the internet exists for a reason. At least let me set my appointment up online!

On top of already losing my birth certificate and marriage license this year, the USPS now has the new copies for "X" amount of months and I still have to take those original copies to someone in the government for a different type of passport. And to clarify, I am the one that lost the certificates, not the USPS.

So long story short, getting paperwork done is stressful enough without having my own stupidness making it worse.

And as much time as I have spent on moving stuff around my house from one room to another, I feel beyond overwhelmed. I know I am making life easier for myself by organizing things. I know I am actually taking big chunks out of the moving process. But now there's piles of stuff in every room in my house and my OCD is not feeling it.

I will be happy the day the movers show up and clear out my house. Because despite the fact that I am trusting other people to touch my stuff (Lord be with me and my anxiety), I will at least have until May to not have to worry about that.

If this jumbled mess of thoughts doesn't say it enough. I'm kind of overwhelmed with life. I am just trying really hard to pretend that I'm not.

Tis the Season...to hit deer and total your freaking car.

So I am just here to update you on my life as I do every so often for those who care and wonder where the hell I've been. Tis the season to be busy. Not only have I been planning, decorating, and wrapping for Christmas; but my car was totaled a week ago. Yes, the CRV which was my grandmother's car that was given to us a few months after she passed. I really didn't expect that to happen so it came as a huge shock and I was beyond upset. I was actually hysterical and probably would have had a panic attack except I am on medication and it somehow kept me sort of calm. Anyway, we spent the week looking for a new car (we had been borrowing my old car, the Yaris from my sister-in-law because she's amazing) and the day we decided to buckle down and make a decision my dad came over and offered us his 2003 Corolla. He said he was saving it for my sister who will be driving in a couple of years so it really was just sitting in our driveway. Well, that was such a blessing and we told him we would give it back in two years and find something else for ourselves. And as for now, we are trying to sell my husband's car. A 2004 Chrysler Crossfire. Only 58,000 miles for $11,000. If we can manage to sell that before Christmas we will be able to buy a brand new SUV for ourselves. Next week I will be going to my Pop's house to put up his tree for him. I have mixed emotions about this because it's the first Christmas without my grandmother and I'm not sure how I feel about it. I know I have days where I miss her so much I feel like I cannot even breath. And then there are days where I feel her everywhere around me, watching me, loving me; and I know it'll all be okay. I just continue praying and knowing that one day I can see her and hug her again. But damn, I miss her so much. Anyway, B met Santa for the first time Saturday! It was so cute and he took an amazing picture! (It's on my blog somewhere) And I am sending out our family's first Christmas cards tomorrow! Also very exciting for me! I love this time of year so much!

2 months and 3 years later.

My dear baby boy has reached 2 months of age and my dear baby pooch has reached 3 years old. I feel so blessed to have my dog in my life on her birthday. After her cancer scare this year, I really don't know how much longer she will be around. I love her dearly she's the best first dog I could ever ask for. She's a huge part of me and I pray every night that she will get to grow old as my boy grows up as well. I'm so blessed with my son. God has given me a calm and loving little boy who is absolutely perfect in every way. He is so well behaved and gets me through every day better than I could hope. He has his 2 month vaccinations today and it was a hard thing to go through. His little face made me tear up and I really had to hold back the tears. I, of course, need to have 3 more in 2 months again. We go on our first family vacation Thursday. We are going up to Maine and I'm nervous as hell. We are splitting the trip to Massachusetts into 2 days which will help, but I'm putting myself through the worst guilt trip in the world because we only have a certain amount of money to spend while we are there and I feel like I'm questioning every dime I spend. I'm so sick of counting pennies and I can't complain to my husband about it because I don't want him to feel bad. Here he is letting me stay at home from work with the baby, but I'm desperate for some extra cash. I hope that we can get up to Maine and just relax and have a good time. If all else fails, Kurt and I can just stay home and eat a sandwich instead of going out to lunch. The problem is that we are going through a weird period where we have some blessings in our lives, and yet curses at the same time. We were given my grandmother's car from my grandfather, he didn't make us pay anything for it. Of course we had to shell out some cash for titles and fix ups, but nothing like if we would have had to buy it. And we sold my car to my sister-in-law. I am struggling with it because it was my first car, I bought it myself and I was really excited about it and I loved that car with all of my heart. Now she has it, and she's so excited because it's HER first car to buy. We sold that car because we owed money on it and his car as well. But we owe more on his car than we could probably get for it. My dad had paid off the rest of my car and told me to not go out and buy another one. So we didn't, but we needed some extra cash and the car was what we had. If my dad found out he would get pissed, and now he thinks we have money from selling the car to my sister-in-law, but we don't. We have enough to get us through the week, but we need to be careful. I suppose if he finds out we could tell him that we're paying for my husband's car, but then I'm lying and I hate that. I've also been struggling with my lack of brain function lately. I feel that ever since I've had my baby boy my brain has just completely checked out and left the building. I lose my train of thought halfway through a sentence I am speaking, I forget EVERYTHING. I am literally writing down everything as soon as I think it. I freaking hate it.