Being Four

Being four means learning boundaries. It means talking back to mom and dad. It means thinking you know everything. It means learning confidence, even if it gets you in trouble most of the time.

I sometimes tease my husband that B is filled with all of our worst qualities:

• Stubborn as a mule (his side)
• Impatient and short-tempered (me)
• Doesn't listen well (him)
• Night owl and grumpy in the morning (me)
• Hates school (me again)

Be he's also:

• Empathetic and kind (dad)
• Loves to cuddle (dad)
• Creative (mom and dad)
• Loves music (mom and dad)
• laughs and enjoys life
• shops well
• travels wonderfully

I believe a lot of his attributes towards the end can be credited towards me and K having a more relaxed parenting style since he was an infant. We try really hard to let him experience life and learn and grow as he does without being too overbearing. 

I'm blessed to have this little boy. As much as he wears me out and has endless energy, he really is such a good boy. As he now embarks on the new adventures of school, I can't help wondering what the future holds for us. I'm not sure what road I take from here. For four years he's been my buddy, my sidekick. I'm kind of afraid to be on my own again. I know that, no matter what, God will help reveal that path. As He as lead me every step of the way thus far. 

Patience is a virtue, but it's hard to remember this sometimes. I'm going to be sad as nugget begins full-time school. It's hard to watch them grow up and away from you, but it's also one of the most rewarding experiences I've ever known.

Everything Changes

Today's a day like any other, but I am changed. 

I am a mother.

Oh, in an instant, and who I was has disappeared.

It doesn't matter, now you're here.

So innocent.

I was lost for you to find, and now I'm yours and you are mine.

Two tiny hands, a pair of eyes, an unsung melody is mine for safekeeping and I will guard it with my life.

I'd hang the moon for it to shine on him sleeping.

Starting here and starting now, I can feel the heart of how everything changes.

My heart's at the wheel now, and all my mistakes, they make sense when I turn them around.

Everything changes.

What I though was so permanent fades, and I swear I'll remember to say we were both born that day.

Oh, and it's true. What did I do to deserve you?

I didn't know, but now I see, sometimes what is, is meant to be.

You saved me.

My blurry lines, my messy life, come into focus in a tied.

Maybe I can heal, and I can breath.

Because I can feel myself believe that everything changes.

My heart's at the wheel now, and all my mistakes, they make sense when I turn them around.

Everything changes.

What I though was permanent fades, and I swear I'll remember to say we were both born that day.

Oh, and it's true. What did I do to deserve you?

Thank God for you.

I'm not stressed, just taking my overwhelmed-ness with style...

This month I had two classes instead of my normal 1. Which means the 20-30 hours of work I get in a class is now 40-60 hours. On top of working 40 hours a week, and oh yeah, I'm a mom.

Luckily a blizzard came through and I was able to kill 90% of my homework during that time. However, my house is still a mess (and now salt is tracked through it despite my best efforts), my homework still isn't finished, laundry isn't done, and I'm moving out of the country in a couple of months.

I would just like to make a shout out to the United States Postal Service for being, by far, the most unhelpful waste of my time I have ever had to deal with. I should have to A.) Pay over $100 for a passport and B.) Have to physically make an appointment at the post office and then proceed to come back to get the service taken care of. It's 2016, the internet exists for a reason. At least let me set my appointment up online!

On top of already losing my birth certificate and marriage license this year, the USPS now has the new copies for "X" amount of months and I still have to take those original copies to someone in the government for a different type of passport. And to clarify, I am the one that lost the certificates, not the USPS.

So long story short, getting paperwork done is stressful enough without having my own stupidness making it worse.

And as much time as I have spent on moving stuff around my house from one room to another, I feel beyond overwhelmed. I know I am making life easier for myself by organizing things. I know I am actually taking big chunks out of the moving process. But now there's piles of stuff in every room in my house and my OCD is not feeling it.

I will be happy the day the movers show up and clear out my house. Because despite the fact that I am trusting other people to touch my stuff (Lord be with me and my anxiety), I will at least have until May to not have to worry about that.

If this jumbled mess of thoughts doesn't say it enough. I'm kind of overwhelmed with life. I am just trying really hard to pretend that I'm not.

Book Worm

My little man is quite the avid reader. He will pull book after book off of the book case if you keep offering to read them to him. He has always been this way, since he could touch a book. He is the same with movies. If he is upset or bored, I will turn on a movie and BOOM instant gratification from him. He loves Disney and almost any Disney movie will please him. He absolutely loves Brave and Hercules. A recent favorite has become Robin Hood; which was my favorite growing up so that makes me happy. His current favorite books are "Animal Strike at the Zoo" and "Star Wars 123" which speaks highly of his interests right now. I decided recently on a Zoo theme for his birthday party this year because he absolutely loves animals. He has many animal books that he will go to over and over and he is particularly fond of giraffes and elephants. I'm really excited because he also LOVES to play with balls and I found Zoo themed beach balls! Anyway, these are his two favorite books...

Another thing B is huge on is music. This kid tries to play "drums" and taps his hands on things, claps to the beat of the music, and dances. He dances and sings along to everything. He would match our pitch almost perfectly at 18 months and he now will finish singing some of his favorite songs if we sing the beginning lines. It astounds just how musically talented he is already at such a young age. I often see him growing up to be the next teen pop star. I don't know if that's something I'd want for him, but if he's that talented then why not? I definitely want to keep encouraging him with his love for music to see where it takes him. He literally has his own playlist on my youtube of his favorite songs and videos and will watch them all on repeat. One of his favorite songs is Ollie Murrs "Heart Skips a Beat". If you have never heard it before I highly recommend you go look it up. Tell me it's not worth it? It will be interesting to see where these random interests and talents take my kid. I can't wait to look back on this post a few years from now and compare where he is.