Being Four

Being four means learning boundaries. It means talking back to mom and dad. It means thinking you know everything. It means learning confidence, even if it gets you in trouble most of the time.

I sometimes tease my husband that B is filled with all of our worst qualities:

• Stubborn as a mule (his side)
• Impatient and short-tempered (me)
• Doesn't listen well (him)
• Night owl and grumpy in the morning (me)
• Hates school (me again)

Be he's also:

• Empathetic and kind (dad)
• Loves to cuddle (dad)
• Creative (mom and dad)
• Loves music (mom and dad)
• laughs and enjoys life
• shops well
• travels wonderfully

I believe a lot of his attributes towards the end can be credited towards me and K having a more relaxed parenting style since he was an infant. We try really hard to let him experience life and learn and grow as he does without being too overbearing. 

I'm blessed to have this little boy. As much as he wears me out and has endless energy, he really is such a good boy. As he now embarks on the new adventures of school, I can't help wondering what the future holds for us. I'm not sure what road I take from here. For four years he's been my buddy, my sidekick. I'm kind of afraid to be on my own again. I know that, no matter what, God will help reveal that path. As He as lead me every step of the way thus far. 

Patience is a virtue, but it's hard to remember this sometimes. I'm going to be sad as nugget begins full-time school. It's hard to watch them grow up and away from you, but it's also one of the most rewarding experiences I've ever known.

Everything Changes

Today's a day like any other, but I am changed. 

I am a mother.

Oh, in an instant, and who I was has disappeared.

It doesn't matter, now you're here.

So innocent.

I was lost for you to find, and now I'm yours and you are mine.

Two tiny hands, a pair of eyes, an unsung melody is mine for safekeeping and I will guard it with my life.

I'd hang the moon for it to shine on him sleeping.

Starting here and starting now, I can feel the heart of how everything changes.

My heart's at the wheel now, and all my mistakes, they make sense when I turn them around.

Everything changes.

What I though was so permanent fades, and I swear I'll remember to say we were both born that day.

Oh, and it's true. What did I do to deserve you?

I didn't know, but now I see, sometimes what is, is meant to be.

You saved me.

My blurry lines, my messy life, come into focus in a tied.

Maybe I can heal, and I can breath.

Because I can feel myself believe that everything changes.

My heart's at the wheel now, and all my mistakes, they make sense when I turn them around.

Everything changes.

What I though was permanent fades, and I swear I'll remember to say we were both born that day.

Oh, and it's true. What did I do to deserve you?

Thank God for you.

Not Losing Me

So in the midst of having ridiculous break downs this summer, I woke up and realized I did have a career I wanted to do. I want to be a manager for entertainers. I want to help them stay organized, keep their schedules, and give them someone to trust.

And while I now have this career path in mind I also have to remember I am a wife and a mother. As is brought up all the time, women in these roles are put in such a rough position. While I want to be myself and achieve my goals, I have to remember my responsibilities as a mother. I made the decision to become a mom and therefore I have been learning how to prioritize my life. 

It's not easy, part of me has those thoughts of wishing I could be selfish and focus soully on myself. I finally know what I want to do with my life! Why did this have to happen after my marriage and son? Well it did. So now I have to move on from that.

I have such an amazing husband and partner. I am blessed to be able to stay at home and raise my son while I go back to school. What a blessing! It definitely helps me make sure I focus on my son while still giving myself the education I need. 

I think it's important as parents that we make our children aware that we are humans too. We have goals and a life. We had these before kids and we will have them after they are grown and leave the house. I feel like showing my son this in giving him the sight of goal setting too. 

I just wish that raising my son and having a career didn't come with such time management. I guess it's helping me prepare for my job. But it still sucks when I feel like I'm being selfish for wanting to achieve some things for myself. 

Regardless, I'm learning and I feel like I'm finally getting the hang of it. At the end of the day as long as I do my absolutely best for my family I can sleep soundly at night.

The sun's awake! So I'm awake!

Sunny week for the rest of the week! I am so happy with this news! Today we spent the greater part of the morning outside playing with friends and I hope to get my butt in gear and get outside for the rest of the week at some time. It also means more dog park time for B and Allie! Have I talked about how much B likes the dog park? Seriously. Almost more than the dogs! He loves running around the big open field and throwing the balls around for the pups. Sometimes he gets knocked over, but for the most part I make sure we are around friendly pups and the owners don't care. Anyway, the kids love running around so much at that park and there is a nice path to run around. Yay spring is here!

Days 5-7; I'm 25!

The rest of this week flew by, as I knew it would. Wednesday we explored some Disney Resorts and shopped Downtown. 

Thursday was the "big" day! We did Magic Kingdom this day and it was my *gasp* 25th birthday! It was an amazing day, despite some rainfall. We truly enjoyed ourselves as we met Merida, Goofy, and Donald. Road Buzz Lightyear's ride, ate at Be My Guest, and finished the day with Mickey's Christmas Party! We got to have dessert on Tomorrowland Terrace while they performed a light show on Cinderella's Castle followed by some amazing fireworks. It was a full day and it was obvious by this day that B was getting a little overwhelmed by all of the events. My poor guy was fast asleep by 9:30 after the fireworks and stayed passed out through our shopping, ride home, and right into his crib! All in all, it was a fantastic birthday, I felt so blessed to be able to spend my special day in the happiest place on earth.

Yesterday was our last day, sadly. We spent the day in Hollywood Studios and it was very apparent on this day that B was worn out! Luckily, this is a smaller park and the first thing we did was see Jake from Jake and the Neverland Pirates, followed by a Disney Junior live show! B was enthralled and literally caressed Jake's face like he couldn't believe he was real! The show was a blast and keeps the kids involved! I was so impressed by how they could bring the kids into Disney Junior's world! Hollywood Studios was a great close to a fantastic week full of fun and adventures. B has fallen in love with Buzz and Woody on this trip, my greatest investment were a Buzz and Woody action figure set. He's played with it every day since.

My B has been a champion this week. I think my family and myself kept him in his own boundaries. Meaning, we didn't push him. When we could tell he hit his limit we went to a quiet area of the park until he fell asleep in the stroller and let him sleep while we took turns watching him. It all worked out so well and B slept every day in the park for a nap. I know that I am a very lucky mom and my son is a very laid back kid that I can take him to Disney World for a week and not worry about him losing it from lack of routine. However, I truly believe that as parents, K and I are more laid back as well. We know our boundaries and limits, but we don't sweat the small stuff. And that has encourage B to be the child he is. So if I could give any advice for Disney bounce parents it would be to just relax! The kid will miss some things and everything won't be perfect, but what they do see and experience means the world to them. Take that with you. I've created memories on this trip that will last me a lifetime. 

Now we are about an hour away from our first stop on the long journey home. The nice thing about an action packed week is that B is so exhausted. He slept in this morning while I finished packing and then slept almost 3.5 hours on the drive today.  He will probably be up some tonight, but that's okay! My kid is awesome and this was one of the best weeks our family has shared in a long time. We needed this week and I'm so glad we got it.