Home is Where the Heart Is

Coming back into the U.S. after being in Japan for almost 5 months is enough to give you whiplash. Granted, Hawaii is it's own entity. However, I feel like I've stepped into a new place and I'm now the foreigner. I've already grown so accustomed to Japan that driving was weird, eating was weirder, and I keep bending my head and saying "hai" whenever someone is asking or telling me something.

However, it's been a blast here. This state is truly a beautiful place to visit. As someone who receives a great deal of strength from the water, being surrounded by gorgeous beaches and blue waters is something that absolutely thrills me. I love the peace that comes with water, despite the ocean being quite a frightening thing. I love being on the beach, hearing the waves, watching the sun set. I love the feeling of the ocean breeze at night. I love that it even smells better here.

I've been trying really hard to make sure I see as much as I can in the short time I am here. I want to relax and enjoy the scenery, but I also want to take in as much as possible.

And on the other side, I want to experience America again. I want to shop at Target, browse the mall, eat drive thru crap food. The shopping I can handle, the food I cannot. And despite fighting strep throat after being here a week, my body can just no longer handle the heavy foods. My meals are significantly smaller, and the fat kid in me is angry at the amount of food I'm missing out on.

Also that I'm not losing more weight??

Regardless, it's been an interesting experience. I've learned a lot about myself in this short visit to Hawaii. I miss Japan, I miss my house in Japan, I miss the trains, the food, my nightly walks around my neighborhood. I miss 7-eleven. I have truly settled in this new land and called it home. I miss my friends and family so much, but I don't want to leave. I just wish I could bring them with me. It's an interesting tear in your heart, this feeling.

I'll be sad when my vacation is over, but as most vacations go, I will be so glad to be home again.

2 months and 3 years later.

My dear baby boy has reached 2 months of age and my dear baby pooch has reached 3 years old. I feel so blessed to have my dog in my life on her birthday. After her cancer scare this year, I really don't know how much longer she will be around. I love her dearly she's the best first dog I could ever ask for. She's a huge part of me and I pray every night that she will get to grow old as my boy grows up as well. I'm so blessed with my son. God has given me a calm and loving little boy who is absolutely perfect in every way. He is so well behaved and gets me through every day better than I could hope. He has his 2 month vaccinations today and it was a hard thing to go through. His little face made me tear up and I really had to hold back the tears. I, of course, need to have 3 more in 2 months again. We go on our first family vacation Thursday. We are going up to Maine and I'm nervous as hell. We are splitting the trip to Massachusetts into 2 days which will help, but I'm putting myself through the worst guilt trip in the world because we only have a certain amount of money to spend while we are there and I feel like I'm questioning every dime I spend. I'm so sick of counting pennies and I can't complain to my husband about it because I don't want him to feel bad. Here he is letting me stay at home from work with the baby, but I'm desperate for some extra cash. I hope that we can get up to Maine and just relax and have a good time. If all else fails, Kurt and I can just stay home and eat a sandwich instead of going out to lunch. The problem is that we are going through a weird period where we have some blessings in our lives, and yet curses at the same time. We were given my grandmother's car from my grandfather, he didn't make us pay anything for it. Of course we had to shell out some cash for titles and fix ups, but nothing like if we would have had to buy it. And we sold my car to my sister-in-law. I am struggling with it because it was my first car, I bought it myself and I was really excited about it and I loved that car with all of my heart. Now she has it, and she's so excited because it's HER first car to buy. We sold that car because we owed money on it and his car as well. But we owe more on his car than we could probably get for it. My dad had paid off the rest of my car and told me to not go out and buy another one. So we didn't, but we needed some extra cash and the car was what we had. If my dad found out he would get pissed, and now he thinks we have money from selling the car to my sister-in-law, but we don't. We have enough to get us through the week, but we need to be careful. I suppose if he finds out we could tell him that we're paying for my husband's car, but then I'm lying and I hate that. I've also been struggling with my lack of brain function lately. I feel that ever since I've had my baby boy my brain has just completely checked out and left the building. I lose my train of thought halfway through a sentence I am speaking, I forget EVERYTHING. I am literally writing down everything as soon as I think it. I freaking hate it.

The fiance's big birthday month.

This month is going to be crazy for me. I have decided to put my job hunting on hold because frankly, it just wouldn't be worth it if someone called me back. My fiance is turning 21 tomorrow. We got him new speakers for his car doors for his birthday and they will be installed tomorrow. I will be picking him up at the location and going with him for a birthday breakfast. After that, we will hang out and eventually go to Medieval Times for dinner.

This week I plan on accomplishing a lot of homework for the month, laundry, and cleaning my house. Next Saturday I am having a Tastefully Simple Party and next Sunday my fiance and I are going to the Redskins vs. Colts game.

We are leaving the 21st to go to California for Blizzcon and 2 days at Disney. Then spending the remainder of the time in Las Vegas with my fiance's brother and sister-in-law. We return home on the 31st.

October is just whack. I am mostly writing all of this stuff out so I can remember it all =) But it's going to be a good month and that makes me happy. The fiance and I need this month to be good because the rest have just been. Well, shit.