I realized early on in my life that I'm different from everyone else. I think differently than most people do, and a lot of my thoughts stay negative. As I've grown older I've grown cynical and tired, I have become less tolerant of people.
This past week has been a test in my faith, my patience, and my anger management. It has been a test in my relationships with people I think dearly of, it has been a test of my relationship with my own country.
A lot of people are awful in this world. Not just America, but this world. Evil lurks in so many crevices and hides there, it festers on our negative thoughts and it jumps at the chance to bring those thoughts to life.
I've brought this up a lot, but when we first moved here a lot of bad things happened involving military members and Japanese civilians and it put a damper on the way Americans were perceived in Japan. It bothered me a lot because I felt injustice to being grouped up with these people who acted like ignorant turds. My husband told me, "We just have to show them that we're not like that."
Those words echo in my mind often, and especially right now. I am a white Christian woman and I feel as though I don't have a lot of say in how other people should feel right now.
I am someone who bleeds positivity. I am the weird flower-child of my family and I know it bothers them that I'm like this. With my mental illness, I truly cannot live in a world of hate and anger, if I did I would be letting my brain win. And by letting my brain win, it means letting it eat me alive until I can't take it anymore. So I truly try hard to be a positive person and share light and love with the people I know and the people I love.
I want to be a good influence to everyone. I want them to know that not only am I someone who is nonjudgemental and loving; I am a representation of Christ's love for me. I am like this because of the Lord. I take no credit for being this way without Him.
However, this isn't about religion. It's not about what you are, who you are, who you love, etc. This is about respect. Respecting another person shouldn't be so difficult. It has nothing to do with a race, religion or sexual preference. Respecting another person is basic human decency.
I have so much anger in the state of our country right now. I hurt because people are still so backwards and spreading so much hate towards each other. Anyone close to me knows I can be angry and hateful, but I just cannot imagine acting out that way towards someone else. I cannot imagine being so awful to another person because they think or look differently then me.
I don't have a point to this, I guess I just needed to remind myself to prove I am not like that. It just got a lot harder to prove that I am not a representation of some of the people in my country, but I will continue to do so. I will continue to fight for what I believe is right, and I will continue to stand up for those who are put down for fighting for those beliefs.
A country divided is not going to grow, it's not going to get better, it's not going to overcome this. Be angry, be upset, get it out. Because that's a healthy way of dealing with your emotion. But then move forward, figure out proper ways to fight our government. Posting on social media your ignorant ideas and thoughts doesn't do anything but anger others. Write to your congressman, vote in the upcoming elections, and properly educate yourself on real facts. Don't be a sheep, by fighting with one another you're only doing what the media and government has set up for you to do. Break the pattern, fight back, and spread love.
Prove to them you're not like the others.
"Only in the darkness can you see the stars." -Martin Luther King Jr.
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