Tonight my husband and I decorated our Christmas tree. We put some music on and spent the time together hanging ornaments and it was...just really great. I was pulling out all of my ornaments from home and they smelled like home and...that was hard. I literally have no memories outside of my parents house. When I first moved into this house, it was hard adjusting. Now that Christmas is here I have to say I feel like I've first moved in all over again.
This is the first year I will wake up in a different house, not opening presents with my siblings, and I'm not even going to be going to my parents house on Christmas Day at all and suddenly I'm rethinking all of my Christmas plans. My brother is actually going to be home this Christmas which will probably not be the case next year. Just thinking about all of our silly Christmas morning traditions and how I wont be a part of that...it's really REALLY hard.
My husband is being so great about all of this and so patient and understanding.
I don't even know what to do about Christmas anymore. Next year I'll be a mom and that changes everything.
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