So for the past couple of months I've been struggling with myself to be content with life right now. I keep telling everyone I am having a quarter life crisis, I guess.
I woke up one morning and just decided that I am not fulfilled with life right now. I thought I wanted to settle down and start my family, but then I realized I have literally lived in the same town for 25 years and I have done nothing with my life.
Don't get me wrong, I know I am blessed with the world's coolest kid ever. However, I have also spent the last 2 years taking care of everyone except me. Fighting PP depression on top of that time frame.
And while I love my family and my friends, I love me more. So I finally looked at K and said, "you know what? Screw it, let's move out of the country."
I'm short, when K reaches his next promotion (hopefully in a year) we will be looking for jobs in South Korea first, then Japan.
We are both so young and only have one child so why not? You only live once, why do you have to be held back when you decide to have a family?
And why do you have to stay in once place forever? You don't.
And the best part is, if it sucks, I'll just move back home. Hell, we get PAID to live out there. Bye bye debt! Bye bye biggest stress on our marriage EVER!
There are a lot more things going on right now inside my fantastically terrible brain, but I don't wish to share them publicly.
I just felt like I owed those who cared an explanation of my absence from life. When I get overwhelmed emotionally intend to recluse. I enjoy my privacy and alone time a lot more than I enjoy being social.
And I'm doing okay. I'm not suicidal or anything, just floundering a bit. And currently I'm on vacation with my mom so that's cool.
In fact, my anxiety has been horrific in the 24 hours I've been here and this evening at sunset I went for a run then sat on the beach alone and it felt amazing. It really refreshed me a bit. I hope it lasts or I'm gonna have to run every day here lol.
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