One Year Later

When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world. John 16:21 It's taken some time, but I finally have enough time to sit down and type up a one year blog for B's first birthday. It's funny because everyone says "It goes so fast!", "Don't blink!", and I really took these things to heart over the last year. There were so many times that I would think to myself, "soak this in, Sam, he wont be this little forever." and yet here I am a year later with him; my new toddler boy. It really didn't start hitting me until a couple of months ago when K and I noticed his looks changing quite a bit. He began losing a lot of the baby looks and was beginning to look like a little boy. It's so unfair that you get such a short time with them as infants. Barely a year goes by before they are grown right before your eyes and learning new tricks and words every day. I have only had one sad moment of his growth this entire year. It took about a week of it, but after a few days I realized he had outgrown falling asleep on my lap. He would fuss or even just wind down and I knew he was ready for bed. I'd lay him down and without a sound, he would lay down and go to sleep. I walked into my bedroom and laid on my husband's lap and cried. That was a defining moment for me, because he had never been able to go to bed without falling asleep on our laps first. It was something I was so concerned about, yet adored because it was ultimate snuggle time. Now he just goes right to bed, even for naps now. Don't get me wrong, I am a very lucky mother and I do NOT take this for granted!! It was just the moment that I realized he wasn't my baby anymore. He was my little boy. This year has been such a learning experience for me on so many different levels beyond motherhood. Bringing B into our lives has altered myself and K's marriage drastically, it has altered my entire way and views on life. I expected the changes, but not quite as much! However, through all of my new learning experience B is a light, a joy, and the biggest blessing I have ever experienced. Motherhood is something I did not expect to come so naturally to me. I was never a kid person, but I always wanted my own. B is perfect for me in every way, he's like my best friend. We understand each other and he helps me grow more than I help him most days. God gave me an angel when he blessed me with B as my first born. That kid is so sweet-natured, so easy going. I really have no complaints on anything in his life. He has never given me a hard time, and even today with his little attitude growing; it's nothing too terrible. I call this year the biggest blessing of my entire life. I never knew that someone could make me so happy and make me feel such an enormous amount of love. I am so blessed to have my little boy and I am looking forward to watching him grow and learn for as many years as God will give me. I love him so dearly, he is my everything. Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate. Psalm 127:3