Sam-1 Postpartum-0

I have finally gone to the correct doctor who has put me on the correct treatment plan for my postpartum that I have been struggling with. I already have begun to feel a lot better and think a lot clearer. It's amazing what the right medicine can do for you! I know now that I will be able to face the battles ahead of me with a much clearer mind. I knew that postpartum was a cause in my relationship failing with my husband, but I know now that it was not the primary cause. Now that I am on proper medication I am looking back on conversations and arguments and realizing how wrong we both were. This whole time I thought it was me seeking him. I KNEW he needed to change, I KNEW he was closing me off and refusing to communicate. However, I never thought he needed my help. He may have said things suggesting I help him, but I was always too angry to give in. I thought, "How dare you? You need MY help? What are you, a child? I already care for a child I do not need two." But husbands need help in a different way, seeking love in a different way. All this time he didn't need me to fix the problem for him, he just needed my support. Knowing I supported him and loved him was what he needed from me and I was physically unable to give it to him. Because I didn't even love myself. It's been a struggle, these past 6 months. I have wanted to leave the man I committed myself to. I have been scared that I would never feel better again. That I would never love anyone again. Not B, of course. He's perfect and was the only light of my life this entire time. Now I have sought the help I needed and I think my husband and I can finally move forward from the hole we had put ourselves in. This probably doesn't make a lot of sense, but I'm writing it for myself and I know what I mean. I can't believe I am coming up on one year since I have brought the most spectacular human being into this world. I wouldn't say the year has flown by, it's more unbelievable that he's growing up. He wont be a baby anymore he'll be a toddler. It's fantastic and super sad all at the same time. Anyway, short update. Sam