Thursday I took Allie to the vet to have a lump on her leg looked at. As it turns out, this lump is cancerous. It's an aggressive type of cancer that affects her body's natural abilities to fight off allergies. Hence, she has a double ear infection and food allergy. She will need to have two Benedryl twice a day for the rest of her life.
Regardless, she is going in for surgery to have the lump removed on Wednesday. The vet told us that we can hope and pray that this removes the cancer and we never see it again. However, there is a higher chance that it will return in which case there is nothing we can do for her. My anxiety over this surgery is getting the best of me. I am having a really hard time with this because she's not even 3 yet and she is my life; my first child. I love that stupid dog more than I love myself and the thought of losing her is literally tearing me up inside. I'm trying to keep my emotions under control because I am 9 months pregnant and I don't want stress to induce labor. I'm just so scared that something is going to go wrong and I never see her again. The thought of handing her over to these people and entrusting her life in them is a huge deal and she's going to be so scared and not know what's going on. It literally makes me cry just thinking about it. She'll be so miserable after the surgery and I wish I could somehow let her know we had to do this for her to take away this cancer.
The only good news through all of this is that Allie doesn't know she has cancer. She's happy and still full of energy and life.
I'm just so sick of cancer and it popping up in my life.
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