Burning Bridges

I always promised myself that as I moved forward in life that I would not burn bridges behind me. Today I feel as though that promise will be broken in a matter of time. School and work have literally sucked me in 100% and taken away all of my free time. School I can deal with, however, work is not something I enjoy and has progressed into more of a chore than a job. Don't get me wrong, I take pride in my work and like to do it correctly. However, my work morale has sunken to an all time low that I have not felt since my first job.

Instead of going through all of the dirty details that I have already vented to my fiance and mother, I shall move on to the more important subject on the matter. I have thrown myself back into the application world.

Granted, I never exactly left, I just stopped looking hardcore. I more or less applied to whatever was thrown my way. That's not how things are going down this time. My fiance has completely re-vamped my entire resume and I have applied for two jobs, one in the government and one at a college. Both of which have not told me no yet! I did apply to a job in D.C. but they told me that the position has already been filled.

I've gotten so numb to the application process that I began to stop caring. However, this time around I feel more inclined to want these jobs then just apply because I know I should. Especially the government job. As I get closer to my wedding date I realize that I need money. And my current sales position is not bringing money in. At all. Giving me the straight conclusion that in order for me to enjoy the married life, I need a full time "real" job.

Applying for jobs has also had me thinking and talking a lot with God. I realize that He will lead me in the path that He wants me to take, however, I need to be willing to follow him. For all of those positions I applied before, I was numb, I did not care what I applied for, I just applied because I knew I needed a new job. I feel quite differently now and have had the epiphany that I should truly look for something that will make me happy and that I will want to do, and then maybe God will give me a more clear direction of which way He is leading me.

As for my current position, if I new job does not present itself soon, I have every intention of leaving my position and downgrading myself into another retail location. There is only so much one person can take.
Oh, and when I do leave this position? I will light the match that burns this bridge. Not every bridge will lead me to where I need to be.