Valentine's Day (For Real This Time)

Because my life is centered around my kiddo, that's usually what I am writing about. But seeing as how today is meant for the lovers out there, I'd like to dedicate this post to my husband. This last year has not been a particularly grand year for me and K. We have struggled quite a bit since B came into our lives. The problem with being high school sweet hearts is that we were both so young when we fell in love that we had a lot of growing up to do. And as we grew up, we changed. A lot. And not all of those changes were good. So, we've had a lot of learning and re-discovering to do with ourselves and it has not been easy at all. There's been a lot of times that both of us just wanted to give up and throw in the towel. We were too different and it wasn't working. But financially, divorce wasn't an option and we didn't want to mess things up in B's life. So we just tolerated each other's presence; to put it bluntly. It always upset me so much that we have such hardships outside of our relationship, why do we have to deal with this in marriage too? Can't marriage be our one sanctuary? I realize it's stupid to ask, but that's where I was mentally. There's been a lot of tears, yelling, and long talks between the two of us this year. I finally feel like we've rekindled something of the relationship. We found the tiniest of seedlings leftover from our youth and replanted it (don't be gross). We have decided to stop investing so much in each other and focus on ourselves as individuals. It has helped tremendously. We went to a marriage seminar this year and the speaker said, "In order to have a good "we" you have to start with a good "me"." And that really struck me. We were so focused on what the other person wanted that we stopped focusing on ourselves. We needed to figure out who this new parent/adult was in the mirror before we moved on to parent/adult/spouse. We have a long road ahead of us, but I know God put us in each other's lives for a reason. I don't believe in coincidences, I believe in a higher authority leading me down the path He chooses for me. I don't always agree with my bumps in the road, but that doesn't stop them from happening. I'm ready to face more years ahead of us and more Valentine's Days and lots and lots of love. K is an incredibly thoughtful and amazing husband and I am so happy to have him in my life. Just today we went to lunch and he met us at the restaurant. He had B's food already ordered and waiting at the table, knowing that he was hungry. And my Valentine's Day present was something I really wanted and something I didn't even know I wanted! He is an amazing father and husband and has always been my rock and been there for me. I'm a blessed woman, indeed. Love you.