Frustrated

I'm really struggling with breast feeding and I'm sick of acting like I'm okay with it. I know that it could be worse, but it's still hard. I like that I'm the only one who can feed B. It gives me control and I need that in my life because I'm a nut. However, the fact that I have to drop what I'm doing to feed him and it takes like an hour is really annoying. I feel like I never get anything accomplished. From 9 pm to 2pm the next day I am trying to feed/sleep him and he decides to stay awake on other times in that time frame. Now he is not feeding as much, but I'm letting him tell me when he's hungry and so now our schedule is messed up again. He eats when he wants which is not on any usual time schedule and it makes it really hard for me to leave the house. I cannot just pull out my boob and feed him. I have to prop it up because it's so big, I have to use the nipple shield because my nipples suck and don't stay hard. I haven't had a chance to pump because when he finally lets me lay him down, I have other stuff to do around the house. The past few nights K has been going to bed too late and so he's not getting enough sleep and has been tired and grumpy and it makes me feel like shit. I hate that every time I think I am doing good, my hormones screw with me. Frankly, I'm exhausted and really pissed off but I have to sit here with a smile on my face. I just need a stress free day without worrying about stuff and I don't know when that's going to happen.