It's bad enough, you know? Being sick and tired and moody ALL of the time. I don't like feeling this way. I don't choose to feel this way and I try my hardest to push through it and buck up. I don't like whiners. I don't like people who complain all the time and then don't do anything to fix their situation. In fact, I despise it. Yet here I am complaining all the time about what's going on. I feel...disgusted with myself.
But the worst part? He has no patience for me. Sometimes I feel like he's not even trying to be patient with me or understand. And he doesn't understand, he has no idea, despite what I've made him read, what I'm going through. He just gets so mad at me all the time and I hate it. He makes me wish I wasn't pregnant. He makes me feel like a child. He makes me want to run away to someone who will care and be patient.
I'm not always the easiest person to be around, especially when you add a mixture of hormones and what not. But he doesn't even try. So why should I go through all of this to give him a child when he isn't helping me?
Why is that when we get married suddenly we get to act like we're 40 and hate each other and there's no love between us? It's a little soon for all of this don't you think? It's a little late to suddenly stop caring.
Just...fuck everything.
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